Disclaimer: Of course, none of these are actual quotes.

• July

  "This new JuCo transfer has got to be the premier player in his position, bar none. I'm thrilled he's signed with the Billikens. He is really going to light up the scoreboard for us."
  
  

• August

  "I scheduled Caseus College in Wisconsin so I can see my mother over Christmas. It also gives me an opportunity to do a favor for my old friend. They're very happy to be able to get the Billikens on their schedule."
  
  

• September

  "Our new guys have no clue what it means to play defense. I mean we're back to 'square-one' with these guys. Its going to be a rough season."
  
  

• October

  "We just have a couple of experienced players, the rest are such 'projects', I just don't see how we can be picked to finish so high. Don't believe any of those preseason polls."
  
  

• November

  "Caseus College is no cupcake. They have a fine coach and one of the best players to come out of Hayward, Wisconsin in a long time. It will take all we've got to beat these guys."
  
  

• December

  "Its great to travel to this city with its five star restaurants. Take this one; I gave it four stars just for the arrangement of vowels in its name and the smell walking up to the door. The neon sign saying, 'All you can eat' put it over the top."
  
  

• January

  "You just can't look past any conference opponents. This is a tough place to come in and play. We'll be quite fortunate to walk away with a 'W'."
  
  

• February

  "The conference is insane to schedule these games so late. Our kids have to miss two days of class just so we can travel here and satisfy the TV contracts for late night games."
  
  "This is becoming a dream year. We are rebuilding, though, there is no way we can have the kind of success we did last year."
  
  

• March

  "This conference tournament takes our kids out of class for a week. If we need a tournament to determine the champion, What's the purpose of the regular season?"
  
  "I'm not worried about the rankings or tournament seeding."
  
  

• April

  "Our kids have been playing their hearts out. They deserve all the praise they can get. I would have to be a clairvoyant to even think we could make it this far beginning with the rag-tag bunch we started with."
  
  

• May

  "I can't pass up an opportunity to hear what they have to offer, but no, I'm committed to stay at St. Louis. They've been so good to me."
  
  

• June

  "I'm so proud of this kid. The adversity he fought through and how hard he worked. He's been a great student-athlete. Its a thrill to see him drafted in the NBA first round."